Fallen

Image credits: Pinterest

To fallen hearts and languid desires, to broken dreams and hearts of fire;
Does the burden of pain weigh you down?
To black inks and scribbled papers, to gaping letters and empty phrases.
Do you ever fade?
The days which seem long and the nights that whoosh past along,
Do you ever stay for a little long?
To the flowers that grow in sad alleyways, to the winds that visit dark corridors and light them up.
Do you mourn and crumple?
Why do you go on? Are you like me?
Broken, fallen, ephemeral.
Do you seek refuge? —
In day dreams, in happy giggles, in sunshine and words.
When do you shed your burdens when does your pages crumple?
Do you mourn what you lost, or do you spend your nights waiting for another opportunity to lose?
What do you do when you fall?
Do you dust off the shame and laugh away or do you sit down? —
Make your peace with the earth that creaks under you? Isn’t it what we are supposed to be and supposed to do?
Making our way towards the earth, being one with the sad and moist dust.

Long Recess

Image Credits: Unsplash

Passing by the same red brick building—
A destination left behind in the past
But a bitter memory carried from the past into the present.

The bronze bell rings …
I find myself still standing in the windy corridors of rust.
During the windy winter afternoons
a pale sun slithers in the sky and
at glum marble floors.
I follow the sun and catch glimpses of bobbing heads and hear their muted giggles in the barren ground—
Scattered sounds of despondent cheering all around.
Janitors sweep the floors, the maids gather to talk in a hushed tone.
Exhausted sighs of staircases… trembling under hasty footsteps.

The empty rooms rest…while yawning windows wait for my lonely footsteps—
Returning after treading dusty corridors and lurking in cold shadows.

That was All

Source credit: Pexels

A staircase…
A mistaken call…
An accidental glance and
That was all.
The world melted and the sky drizzled…
So I could be with you.
Some said that you were real,
Others claimed you were a dream…
But I think I am sure about
The twinkle in your eyes;
And the misty little gleam …!

In the Mirror

Image source: Pexels

And there are days when I look in the mirror
To find a body without Being.
A trunk without a head.
A feeble dying heap of flesh,
Without a soul.
A house of rhythmic beats,
Without a life.
A loud voice,
With empty words.
I speak and sing…
I put up a show,
A spectacle of passion
But with no conviction.
They see me there all clad in silver…
But still I see a gaping void in my mirror.
A part of me latches to floating ashes,
Another wanders amidst dandelion winds.
Clinging to neem boughs,
It swings and sways.
It meddles with tendrils of leaves,
And curves with boughs…
It lurks in shadows,
But longs for the light.
It heaves great sighs…and screams…
Only to be swallowed by the huge black of night.

In-between

Image credit: Pexels

I cast a small shadow
In a world of lights-
Bright with chattering heads and tingling bodies.
I look for spaces in the gaps amidst them—
Sneak between the awkward pauses that lull conversations,
Dance through jostling bodies struggling for the rhythm of life.
Swish past lost travellers…nudging them towards new ways….
Slip between the paper and the the slant of nibs
To glide over the slippery puddles of inked worlds…
A place that I call home… A place where I belong.

Seeking Help

Image credit: Pexels

In death we pray,
In life we neglect.
In death we promise
But in life we forget.
A barter that we strike with the looming darkness.
A prayer for life and a promise of authenticity
when the dark looms above,
The selfishness of this rotting, scheming flesh surfaces.
Blind to the misery of others;
It curses and whines about its rotting condition.
Unable to accept the dying flesh;
It screams for help…
A help that it never receives.
The flesh seeks resurrection and immortality
Something beyond its limited time.
And is left toying with words that it believes to be eternal.

Surviving

Drowning in the gush of tears,
we survive with our morbid fears.
While the nights seem long,
The days look busy.
Busy with the world’s presence,
We forget the mournful night.

Missing the faces that we had seen;
Promising a return to the anxious voices on the phone;
Bidding muffled farewells to the loved ones;
Waiting for the hour to strike away.

Looking at the clock expectantly,
Wishing for the day to end,
Hoping for a new morn.

A morn filled with the chirping of the birds
and not the dewy silence of mourning.

Ocean of thoughts

Trapped in an ocean of thoughts,
I dive and float.
Trying to stay afloat
I fail to fight all the time.
The waters of my fear sweep me away:
I cry for help…
But alas,
All in vain.
I am the lonely surfer.
Born to love alone, and suffer alone.
I thrive on love and shrink from death,
I bleed ink to survive on lyrics–
color my pallette with the finest of red,
but find my self stranded in shrouds of
Black or White;
sing of endings in high notes,
but shrink from it at the finale.
Fretting , strutting, and finally giving away,
I now look forward to a new day.

Dark Lament

Featured from: Pexels

Under the blanket of night,
The sun is sound asleep.
The birds return to their nest and
The trees rustle a lullaby.
Darkness hushes the din of the day
While the swallows twitter away.
The night reigns…
The silent queen that usurps the world of sun.
A partner of brazen dreams,
A mother to orphaned desires…
A soother of troubled soul and a
Nightmare to the guilty and liars.
It whispers a language…
Known and yet unknown..
It sings a song with the saddest of notes,
Lamenting the inevitable end.

Agony

Featured in: Pexels

Each day a scream builds in my throat,
My throat clenched, my jaw stretched…
But nothing comes out.
I again sit dejected and silent.
The wave of silence engulfs me…
Surviving, but am on the verge of falling into the void.
I yearn to scream, to shout,
But fail.
Is this life?
A posture of a scream but without a noise.
A music of death which builds but is bereft of notes.
A dance of breath… But with fleeting steps.
An endless labyrinth of agony…
Where the happiest moments are touched by the silence of sadness,
Where happiness dies the minute it is born.
Where moments flee away… Leaving behind endless sobs and muffled cries.
Tears die a vacuous death, leaving behind empty eyes.
It is with these empty eyes that I look around… A world so bleak and unknown,
That I return towards the gut clenching silence,
Which is now my true home.