The mist of yesterdays brought cold shame, Enveloping memories sang tales of a loss. I sat brooding upon the things Said and done. Wondering where or if I had gone wrong… Today’s warmth brought no solace As the nights were spent in Shame’s cold embrace. Days and nights pass, stretching the distance between the mist and me. Vast… And without the mist…. The crevices come in sight. Healing wounds in warm daylight.
Am I really, Who I claim to be? Is it just a reflection that I Daily see? Am I the eyes that see the world? Or am I what sees the eyes see the world? Or am I what the world sees? Am I the breath or what breaths the breath? What do we call life? Is this what we call being alive?
To the unnoticed, And rejected. To the broken, And neglected. Life turns in all directions Fates travel in different dimensions. Keep walking and keep dreaming… The paths will remain the same, But you will be different one day.
What triggers memories? Well there are a lot of things some defined and some not so defined. Sometimes colours remind us of people, sometimes a certain kind of smell reminds us of a place and many such triggers that lead us down the memory lane. The time was around mid september. When it is neither too hot nor cold. The air becomes pleasant… With the naughtiness of the wind, which tickles the neem boughs and plays with careless strands of hair…
And as I stood on the terrace… Around mid-night, a gentle breeze went past me. It was sweet, laden with the smell of night-blooming jasmine and rose. I could feel the smell filling my lungs as I breathed, I could almost taste it. It was like reliving a lost memory. It was the smell of my childhood. This is what my childhood felt like…
I still remember sitting on the small window sill in my grandma’s home, amidst the usual power cut, waiting for an occasional breeze to pass us by like a pleasant acquaintance. It would visit but the visit used to be rather short. And yet the smell remained intact the Jasmines and roses dissolving in my mouth. The wind used to be chilly bearing the effects of the nearby river leaving me a little sleepy and little happy…
It was a smell that would make you sad and happy at the same time… It would ask you to stay a little longer but you know that the vacation time is over… You have to work,get back in the crowd. You just can’t stay… But I can still smell my childhood in lonely nights and damp mornings… It still visits me and tickles me…
I lost something Not worth losing… Something which was once precious Now lies away, strewn. It was once mine. I was asked to nurture it but But I let it go astray. I looked for it on forgotten roads, And some memories from past… But the search was in vain, It just left me aghast. Then one night, I found a broken piece Caught hold of it in the hope For some peace. I glanced at it from time to time, It was the only thing on my mind. I waited for some days to pass, And then one day, that broken piece turned into a looking glass.
We ask ourselves: What changed? Some say… Priorities Others say circumstances. But we rarely ask: What remains unchanged? Well… Moments. Engraved for ever in time. Cherish them… Live in them and they will live in you. Cause’ sometimes… they are all that’s left.
The days have turned morbid, And the nights are damp. The streets have turned silent Leaving behind flickering lamps. The trees rustle… They too are missing the bustle. The thirsty eyes wait… And the side walks wail. The city cries…yearning life… While death awaits.
We mostly believe that magic does not exist in real life. It exists only in fairy tales and is something meant for children. Something that keeps us away from reality. Which, as we believe it to be, is harsh and cruel. Well sometimes it is. It depends on the way see the world. I belive that magic co-exists with this Reality.
It exists within ourselves. We don’t need a wand or a spell to use it. We don’t need to look for it in places. We just need to need to accept who we are. And the magic happens. Self-acceptance is the key which unlocks the real you. It is the the light within that makes you Glow.
When I was younger, I watched a movie titled “Penelope”. It was about a girl who was cursed to have a pig’s nose instead of a human one. She whined and cursed her fate. The curse could only be broken if someone accepted her the way she was. But no one did. Well no one ever does. Sometimes…we have to be our own hero. By the end… Out of frustration… She blurted “I love the way I am”. And the spell finally broke.
Life scars you in many ways. With time they become a part of you. They live in you. But accepting them is never easy. There may come days when you will curse your fate… Asking… Why??? You will die a little, you will break a little each day. But you will grow a lot. The scars that weakened you today will make you stronger tomorrow. The world that seems dull today will become brighter.
Accept yourself… Let the magic work it’s way… Wait for it.